


The Talk

by 19thsentry



Series: Window of Opportunity [3]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Angst, F/F, Gen, bad breakups
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-16
Updated: 2016-06-16
Packaged: 2018-07-15 11:49:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7221187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/19thsentry/pseuds/19thsentry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You can't just give up magic, Willow, it's more than that.." </p>
<p>Tara finds out about Willow using Lethe's Bramble on her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Talk

Willow sat on the coffee table, and Tara had to shift her knees so that they weren’t touching. They hadn’t said anything to each other yet, but they’d have to, soon, because Willow was leaving in fifteen minutes. Giles was waiting for the red head on the front porch, watching for the taxi, and Dawn and Spike were sitting out on the back porch. They hadn’t wanted to see Willow go. Dawn was still too angry, and Spike was supporting that. Tara, for her part, had stalled for the entire day, but she couldn’t let Willow leave without saying anything at all. They had to talk.

What they were going to say? Well, that was a mystery. Tara stared down at her knees, hating that she wasn’t strong enough to look her girlfriend in the face. Her mother had never looked her father in the face.

“Tara, I’m…oh Goddess, I’m so sorry,” Willow said quietly, rushing her apology out. When Tara looked up, Willow’s face was screwed, in that painful way that made Tara want to forgive her immediately, to tell her not to leave. But that wasn’t the right answer, she knew. “I didn’t mean to—to hurt you like that. I-I just wanted everything to be like it was, with Buffy.” 

“You can’t just use magic to get your way, Willow. It doesn’t…work like that,” Tara said, feeling a hint of anger as she spoke.

Willow’s face crumpled even more, tears beginning to leak out of her eyes. “I know, I know that. Giles— I know. I’m sorry. Will you ever…can you ever forgive me? I love you. I never meant to hurt you.”

She looked so small. Tara opened her mouth, unsure of what to say. What _could_ she say? “Willow…I don’t think it’s fair to a-a-ask me that right now. I…I love you, but I can’t,” she paused, looking for the right thing to say. “I don’t trust you, after…” 

“Is this…” Willow swallowed thickly. “Are you breaking up with me?” her voice lilted up in pain.

“I need time to…figure things out. But I can’t—can’t make any promises to just… Maybe,” Tara finally answered, closing her eyes from Willow’s hurt expression. It wasn’t fair. None of this was fair. Willow was supposed to be the one, _her_ one. How had they gotten here? 

Willow sucked in a breath. “Baby—baby, please, I can do anything— I’ll give up magic, I’ll, I’ll do whatever it takes, just please—”

“You can’t just give up magic, Willow,” Tara said, pushing up off the sofa and walking a few feet away, her arms crossed over her chest. “It’s more than that.”

“Tara, please, I didn’t mean—”

“To hurt me?” Tara shot back at Willow’s tear streamed face, her own tears running down her cheeks. “To take away my memories to make me be who you wanted me to be? To take away my choice and freewill? You did, Willow. You did,” she added more softly. And really, what more was there to say? She was saved from whatever Willow was about to say when Mr. Giles poked his head in.

“The cab is here,” he announced, speaking to Willow but looking at Tara. Tara nodded and walked over to give him a quick hug.

Finally, she turned to Willow, who was still standing in the living room, looking lost. “Goodbye Willow.” Tara left and walked to the kitchen, holding her breath until she heard the front door close. As if on que, Dawn and Spike came in from the back door. Dawn juggled her shoulder bag and stuffed animal to pull Tara in for a long, warm hug.

“Thank you, Dawn,” Tara said when they pulled apart.

“Do you want some tea?” Dawn asked sympathetically, her eyes still clouded with worry.

Tara tried a smile. “I think I just need a lot of sleep, for now. Thanks for offering.”

Dawn pulled in for another quick hug before saying goodnight and heading upstairs. Spike was still standing awkwardly in the doorway, carrying Tara’s bag and rabbit.

“I, er, brought your stuff in,” he said, shuffling a bit.   

Tara gave a weary smile, this one more genuine, and moved to take her bag from him. Spike handed her things to her gingerly, as if she might break from the weight. It didn’t help that she thought that was true. When his hands were relieved of her things, he nodded shortly and stepped back. “Right then. Be on my way.”

“Thank you, Spike.”

“Don’t mention it,” he waved a hand dismissively. “Just, uh,” Spike stopped talking and snapped his jaw shut, at a loss of what to say. “Sleep well?”

Oh, she hoped so, even if she knew it was very unlikely. “You too,” she said, suddenly feeling just as nervous. Really, they didn’t know each other at all. The only reason either of them had helped saved the world was for the people they loved. Now, both of them were gone, and they were left with a teenaged girl and each other.

Tara wondered how much the past few nights at the hotel had really changed between them. Tara cleared her throat. “We’ll…we’ll see you soon?” she asked, wondering if he’d be coming over more often.

Spike stopped shifting awkwardly to stand still. “Yeah, suppose,” he finally replied after a moment of silence. Almost consciously, they both took a step away from each other, bowing a bit. “Night, Glinda.”

Tara scrunched the fur of the stuffed animal she held. “Goodnight, Spike.”

When the door shut behind him, she let out a deep breath, feeling like she’d made somewhat of a fool of herself. Tara went around and locked all the doors and turned out the lights, then trudged upstairs, pausing to listen by Dawn’s door. Her light was off, and she couldn’t hear any noise.

Tara gathered her courage and went down the hallway to her room (just _her_ room now). The door creaked when she opened it. After a cursory glance, Tara squeezed her eyes shut and, after closing her door, dropped her bag on the ground. It was over. She and Willow were over.

Tara collapsed on her side on the bed with the long stuffed animal pressed to her chest, and she curled into a ball as best she could. She was going to cry like a little girl tonight, and she wasn’t going to wash her face and she wasn’t going to change into pajamas and she was going to cuddle her stuffed animal. Some nights she was just fine feeling like a kid again.


End file.
